A poetic tribute to Merv Adey

Linda Patton, a former Unit member and secretary has written the following funny and touching poem in honour of Merv Adey. I have also included it in the tribute page to Merv.

A sweet and thoughtful man. I enjoyed playing at his club for many years and earned my highest percentage (72%) the one and only time I played with Merv. I am very saddened to hear of his passing and will miss him very much (Linda Patton).

I used to work at Tanners where we sold lots of books,
The customers were pleasant and I got no dirty looks.
Now I own a bridge club with all that it entails,
I’m Teacher, Maid and Diplomat to many different players.

Rookies, novices and pros; Victoria has them all,
They think I should stop everything, if and when they call.
Some complain about the coffee, others about the fees,
It’s quite a challenge, catering to their idiosyncrasies.

Duncan must have table one and James and Linda four,
I’m not sure why this is because it doesn’t help their score.
Distractions there are many, each and every day,
But, woe is me if I’m not sharp and give their seats away.

With Partnerships I do my best and always try to please,
But Marylou won’t speak to Sam and Joe can’t stand Louise.
Susie plays two over one and Ben is just beginning,
I hope they have some fun because there’s no way they’ll be winning.

Mike and Marion filled in, when I’ve called and begged,
I won’t be asking them again because they both reneged.
Of course that’s something I‘ve not done in all my bridge career,
But there’s always a first time for everything, I hear.

The lessons on a Wednesday night are something less than droll
But turning rookies into experts is my ultimate goal.
I try to make it simple by using Grant and Root,
But one look at their faces tells me they don’t give a hoot.

The water in the kettle must be hot, you see,
For James and Ruth who cannot play without a cup of tea.
Decaf must be made for those that cannot take caffeine
And yes, it’s all done with a smile so they won’t think I’m mean.

I have better things to do, I’m sure that they would find,
Than pick up all the cups or mugs that they have left behind.
My mother taught me to pick up my things when I was through,
I don’t employ a waitress so it’s something I must do.

The scores I try to enter just as fast as I am able,
But it would really help a lot, if they don’t crowd the table.
It’s very hectic at that time and can be stressful too,
I will announce the winners just as soon as I am through.

It’s very hard to please each one no matter how I try,
Sometimes I get so frustrated it makes me want to cry.
So, if they call me for a ruling and they have no luck,
Then they can call for Mike or Tim ‘cause I don’t give a . . .darn!